thinking of you

no.34

how long i din update my blog...hmm...i tink hv couple months le ba...well...stil d same...bz wif work...bz wif music...bz wif everything...nowadays wanna prepare for coming performance...so i put many effort in...n fail kip contact wif my beloved sisters...soli gals...u all noe ur bro veli bz de la f3...but i wil try my veli best to stay contact wif u gals ^_^

dun woli abt me..i wil b strong..no matter how hard to go forward but i wil do my best n face it ^_^

no.33

teasing...misunderstanding...back stabbing...heart breaking...tinking

u down i care..sit by ur side..ask u why..wat happen..u ask me go not nid care abt u...i choose to stay...but u choose to off...u stress...u emo...u on...find me...teasing me..im ok wif tat coz i noe u over stress...u join in...misunderstanding abt wat i done for my guild...can u pls ownself ask me wat u wanna wan...why nid back stab on me js ur selfish tinking...i try my veli best to care each and everyone...im d kind who wont step 1st step out...coz im lose in communication...i duno how to communicate wif others...one day..u telling me asking me stop calling u as my sis...ask u why...u said we isolate u...can u tink b4 den u tok wif us?...why u choose to tok tat way to me..not others...why u teasing me onli...coz i over soft? over kind?..i duno...im a nub...stil a nub...wil always make mistake n wrong path..but how...i choose kip going...learn from mistake...dun wanna run away from it...why u choose run away...why u onli care abt urself...wat about others feeling...now i heart breaking...i noe tat not u want...but hell...im d kind of ppl...i veli moody one...wil kip tinking why...why become like tis...whr i dint do my part well...not caring enuff?...not support enuff?...now...i duno how to care a person...mayb i choose to hide myself as well...

**birdy...i din mad abt u...tat day i angry...but dint mean tat u r wrong...i noe u wan help us but...anyway...thx for ur help...n pls do let me alone for couple days...let me more stable...i choose to write in blog...coz...in maple...i duno how to say wif a broken heart...

no matter how i try...no one wil listen to me...woli sick alone here..............
dun woli...i wont choose MIA....................

no.32

speechless...

FYI...i quite bz dis few days...nid go to church every nite til omos 11pm or after 11pm...2nite is rehearsal...i dun hv any idea abt d programme...but i been appointed so called 'music director' so i nid to forced myself think abt d programme...dey request me solo sing along wif playing piano...ok ba...i try my veli best...but pls do care my bek's wound...dun accidentally touch tio...veli pain ba...lucky tat...onli bleed a bit nia(well..actually...js tinking wanna post up my wound tio touch...coz someone wil kill me...but i promise tat i wil let her noe...soli sia la...sayang...i wil care de)

las nite...praise n worship team...i accidentally sprain my rite hand...but lucky is fine le...well...las nite i finally took my pills b4 i lied to bed...dam pills...make me sleepy n blur...while i sms to mei...i dun noe wat i type...dis morning i check my msg from mei...she asked me...am i drunk coz drinking beer...T_T...mei...i bo drink beer as i promise u tat i wont drink beer for 1 month...i swear in my heart...

soli folks....dis few days i over stressed n kip emo-ing...but i promise u all tat i wil b strong...wont suicide de...f3...soli kip making u guys woli so much...

<3mei<3gin<3Cindy Mum<3sha
<3miko<3fishy<3lizard<3bunny<3birdy
<3leo di

no.31

well...how long i bo update my blog?...answer is i dun noe...dun noe whr to start or how to start...now onli kip my mind is im a loser...why i said myself like tat...very simple...i cant make everything rite...

after i bek or before i go to tokyo...many things happen to me...i reli wanna out from dis family...but been lockdown by grandpa...grandpa said dis family...onli me can take over dis coy...my dad is useless..onli noe how to waste more money...my another uncle...onli noe abt marathon...im d onli grandson in dis family...so i must take over dis coy for sure...i cant choose another path...i like music but i hv to gv up...well...bo bian...like other said...i no choice lagi....yayaya...i noe...dun kip remind me of tat...everyone onli noe tat i rich...but i dun hv freedom...js now fight wif my uncle...get hit by him on my face...dam hurt...fine..u r my uncle...let u hit...fine for u?

well abt d band performance...i tot everything settle le...but dis afternoon..one of d officer called me n scold me tat im not responsibility....i dun do my work done...n i bo answer or reply their call or msg....pls....do understand me...i reli bz nowadays...i hv to force myself to take a proper meal...i hv to force myself stay awake to do all my works...i hv to force myself stay alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

1 cal in spoiled my mood...am i look like a dog or wat....kip asking me do dis n tat...i said i cant handle so much...but u all said i can...dun look down myself...bla bla bla...a msg come n said im d pianist for dis big group choir wil combined wif other church's choir...dam....i dun even practice once b4...u all practice many times...now u wan me embarrass in front of other ppl....said why i play so suck....who u tot...im js ordinary guy...nid practice....me suck den why wanna appointed me as ur pianist...cant find anyone else?

wan me explain wat...i do explain why d band cant accept d invitaion ....i do tell...u said u wil support what decision i make...but end up is u go accept n want me take d risk....i hv d rite n reject ur invitaion....u wan d performance...u go urself....i oledi wanna gv up to b officer in dis uniform group...but when u 1st time join in...u find me said u wanna noe me n ask my opinion...i share wif u everything..n my experience...but did u appreciate?...u like tai ji but i dun like...u d one make d things wrong...but u bo admit...den play ur favourite trick...taiji....who d one so lucky?....tats me....hahaha....ya...is me....im d loser.....

u cal me said im wrong...who dare gv d mission to me coz i not responsibility...halo...i working tat time...told u im not free...den u say i wanna ran away from u n other officers....HALO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......i working....u tink i working for u or wat......u r my boss or wat.....i cant free to travel....js bcoz dis dam family n dis dam responsibility....dam fcking ba....can pls do me a favour....STOP BLAMING ON ME......U WAN ME KISIAO OR WAT.....WAN ME DIE...RITE?

OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
I DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
CAN BO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IF I DIE CAN LET ME GO????????????????????????????
BOSS....WAT TIME U WAN ME DIE?
WAN ME GET D PERMISSION FROM U
N W8 U SAY WAT TIME I CAN GO TO DIE????????????????????????????????????????

no.30

trip to tokyo, japan...ss some pictures n share wif u all...

no.29

mother fucker...wth...fuck you all...backstabber....cjb....tmd..._|_....stop fucking thr...mai tio my mei...fck...come find me...ji bai.....knn...kns.....tmd....@#$@%#@$%@%$!$#$!@%!$!@#$@%Q$Q@#

w8 me bek...jb kia.....tmd...